"George," he said happily as he pulled out a chair, flipped aside his coattails and sat, pulling down his waistcoat and adjusting the looped chain that flopped across his belly. The man on the other side of the table glared at him, slurping down another oyster."Mac," he said gruffly. "Where's that money y'owe me?" Storm off the Capes," said Holmes. "Ship hasn't been heard from." I don' give a hoot 'bout that," said his companion, leaning forward. "Pay me the interest, at least. T'other's your fugging problem." Write you a draft," Holmes said. "Have to date it next month." That won' do me no good. An' where's that fuggin' rum and hemp you promised, first of the month you said." My new ship is likely in the mouth of the Bay, down near Point Lookout, where, as I seem to recall, you spent many happy months." Don' remind me," the man said, scratching at the stump of his left arm. "Thas' where I lef' the rest a'this." His empty sleeve hung freely."Meanwhile," said MacNeal Holmes, "you can. Time was when, on its own accord,From my trousers it would spring.But now I've got a full time job,To find the friggin thing.It used to be embarrassing,The way it would behave.For every single morning,It would stand and watch me shave.Now as old age approaches,It sure gives me the blues.To see it hang its little head,And watch me tie my shoes!!Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK :1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUTIn a London department.
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